A Selfish Thing called “Marriage”

Marriage seems to me a selfish thing to do, especially for girls in South Asia, the part where I belong to.

Your parents bring you to this earth. They feed you, clothe you, educate you, fulfill your wishes, and stay awake beside you when you are sick. Suddenly one day, you meet a stranger, marry him (spending your dad’s entire savings), and he becomes the top most priority of your life. In some cases, you fall in love and start thinking of him all day though you don’t know how HE thinks of you. You love your parents too, but their thought never occupied you. It’s weird, right? You settle yourself in his house leaving your dad’s one, make his countless relative your own, and take the responsibility of doing his laundry, making his food, keep his wallet, keys, tie, socks in place when he’s getting ready for office, taking care of him when he is sick. I bet you never did all these in your parents’ home. Your parents took care of you when you were not able to take care of yourself. When you became able to do that, you set for someone else to take care of! NOT YOUR PARENTS! ban-marriage-big

Okay, let’s consider some other cases too. If you are a working woman and you have maids to do all the laundry and cooking stuff, the work load lessens. Still you are expected to BE there! Because you are THE WIFE! You cannot make your maid serve the food to your hubby! Hubbies don’t like maids touching their stuff or taking care of them. They want their WIFE at particular times. After all, that’s why they married their wives!

One day you got a call from your dad’s home. Your mom’s sick. Your dad said that it’s just minor fever and not to bother about that. You eventually don’t bother because you are in-laws are coming tonight for dinner. You are too busy marinating your chicken. You promise to visit you parents in the coming weekend. Of course, you are not only a daughter; you are something more than that now. You are a wife, a daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and what not. All this relationship comes with huge responsibilities that fade away your responsibility as a daughter. It’s okay to avoid the responsibility of a daughter towards the parents, responsibility towards your in-laws becomes more important because that’s only matters! If you do otherwise, people would say, “She only cares about her parents; what an irresponsible girl!”

I see no point in all these social norms! Marriage is important to reproduce for sure. If our parents didn’t get married, we wouldn’t exist. But why all these responsibilities? Why would my hubby and in-laws expect me to do stuff for them? What would I receive from them in return? Just appraisal of being a good wife and daughter-in-law? Why can’t my dear hubby do his work by himself and let me do mine? Why doesn’t he take care of HIS relatives and let me take care of mine?

Let your hubby help himself in the dining table and keep track of where his socks, wallet, and keys are because you are already doing it for yourself. Let him handle his guests because you have to visit and take care of your ailing mother. I won’t be so radical in some points. If it’s your hubby who takes care of you, you are also responsible to take care of him in return. MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING IS ALL YOU NEED! You get married because you want to share your life with him, not to take his responsibilities and forget your parents. Marriage shouldn’t change your life, but make your life more beautiful.


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